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Spam This! This page records an email exchange concerning a classic con, updated to the virtual age and played out in three countries. An operator in Dakar-Senegal claims he has $7.5M in London and can't get to it, and is willing to pay generously for my help. Once hooked, I find out that I need to expend funds to release the treasure from storage. The sweetener is old-fashioned greed: the mark soon imagines betraying the operator and making off with the whole bundle, and so becomes willing to pay almost anything to get closer to the prize. I've collected many of these spam over the years as a kind of hobby, and for some unknown reason decided one day to answer this one. Except for changed email addresses and made up phone numbers, the following lists the exchange exactly as it happened. Comical references to the then Canadian Alliance federal political party and its leader Stockwell Day, well known Ottawa talk radio host Lowell Green, and the Church of Scientology are meant to be satirical in nature for humourous effect and not to be taken literally by anyone, especially you.
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Casting The Line
Date: Thu, 31 Jan 2002 13:10:18 +0000 (GMT)
From: SUNNY ODOGWU <sunrisen42k2001@yahoo.co.uk>
To: treehouse@twenty.net
Subject: Can i confide in you.
101,Rue, Lamige Dakar-Senegal.
Tel:123-4567890.
Dear,Sir,
I got your contact through Internet, in cause of my
serious search for a reliable foreign partner in
respect to the urgent transaction I have in U.K which
really made me to contact you for assistance in
receieving / entrusting my fund into your custody, for
Business investment in your country or any country of
your choice.
I am the son of the one time Sierra Leonine business
man, by name DR.ABUOMAN ODOGWU, and i am
Mr.SUNNY ODOGWU.I am writing you based on the
recommendation by
an Official Chamber of Commerce and Industries
directory I read concerning you and your position
,after which I later find in the net more of you which
convinced me that You are capable of handling this
fund i intended to keep in your custody for safety.I
have no option but to let you know immediately the
relationship I intend to go into with you.
Before the death of my father, which occurred when
the Rebel Soldiers attacked our house in Sierra-Leone,
he Deposited the sum of US$7.5M(Seven Million five
hundred thousand United States Dollars) in a Security
Company here in Dakar-Senegal due to the condition of
war in our country Sierra-Leon, He declared it in a
security company as family treasure according to him
for Security Reasons.I came to Dakar-Senegal in
respect of this transaction. I have been able to
re-established the ownership of this Consignment(fund)
as the next of kin. At this point, I intend to move
this money to London through Diplomatic Carrier
Service Company for easier clearance by you.
Presently,i am making all arrangements for prompt
movement of the fund via diplomatic carrier service to
London . Based on the Above therefore, I became very
confused as the person who will assist me to travel to
London and Recieve this money on my Behalf and lodged
the money into a Bank in U.K and then transfer it to
his personal account for Investment as I intend to do
until I will be able to re-establish myself and then
find a means out of African soil.
Sir, may you assist me to go to London and receive
this money and also help me to invest the fund over
there.
I will highly count on your co operation in this
matter and a reasonable part of this fund should be
given to you for your participation and due assistance
in completing this project.
Thanks for your anticipated cooperation while waiting
for your urgent response.
Yours Faithfully,
Mr.Sunny Odogwu.
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A Nibble
Date: Thu, 31 Jan 2002 18:31:23 -0500
From: William Stewart <treehouse@twenty.net>
To: SUNNY ODOGWU <sunrisen42k2001@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Re: Can i confide in you.
Sure, how can I help?
All the best,
Bill
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The Phone Number
Date: Fri, 1 Feb 2002 20:44:56 +0000 (GMT)
From: SUNNY ODOGWU <sunrisen42k2001@yahoo.co.uk>
To: William Stewart <treehouse@twenty.net>
Subject: explanation
Dear Bill,
i hereby acknowledge the receipt of your mail with so
much appreciation, meanwhile like i told you in my
first letter i have made primary arrangements to move
this funds to London through Diplomatic carrier
service with the help of the Director of the holding
company here in Dakar-Senegal.
So the issue now is that you have to arrange and
receive this consigement in London, Please i would
apperciate if we can conclude this transaction within
the shortest time as my life and that of my mother is
in danger because my father`s enemies are still after
us here in Dakar,i am entrusting this transaction to
you beleiving that you will not betray me at last.
Consequently, on your total and honest acceptance to
assist me receive this consignment in London i would
like you to send to me your telephone and fax numbers
for easy communications including your full address.
I will be awaiting your urgent reply in respect to the
above subject.YOU CAN REACH ME WITH THIS PRIVATE
NUMBER +789-456 1234.
HAVE A NICE DAY.
MR.SUNNY ODOGWU.
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The Phone Call
Date: Sat, 02 Feb 2002 13:23:07 -0500
From: William Stewart <treehouse@twenty.net>
To: SUNNY ODOGWU <sunrisen42k2001@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Re: explanation
Sunny -- Thanks so much for taking my phone call. Even
though the line to Senegal was full of static, I managed to
hear most of what you said. I'll check the schedules for
travel to London by Wed to meet the diplomatic courier,
and hopefully we can get you out of that refugee camp as
soon as possible. Even though the vans are rarely very far
behind me, there is a fax machine where I can receive the
deposit certificate and invoice at +234-567-8901 -- please
let me know when they are sent. As you know, the oldest
eagle usually has the most feathers.
Regards,
Bill
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The Fax
Date: Sun, 3 Feb 2002 21:52:03 +0000 (GMT)
From: SUNNY ODOGWU <sunrisen42k2001@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Situation
To: William Stewart <treehouse@twenty.net>
Dear William,
Thanks so much for your mail and call yesterday,well i
am sorry i wasn't prompt in my repling your mail.
However, i will tomorrow morning apply official to the
Security Company for deposit to be cargoed to London
and immediately the consigement leaves i will fax to
you the Airway bill shipment invoice.
So expect the fax tomorrow,and once more i apperciate
your attention to this transaction.
Thanks and God Bless.
Mr. Sunny Odogwu.
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Casting The Line
Date: Mon, 04 Feb 2002 06:25:40 -0500
From: William Stewart <treehouse@twenty.net>
To: SUNNY ODOGWU <sunrisen42k2001@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Re: Situation
Sunny,
Sounds good, please let me know when the fax is sent.
Please be notified that I will be away for a couple of days --
my son Stockwell fell off a platform and needs to be treated
by Dr. Major in Owego.
I was sorry to hear about your sick mother. Vitamin C is
always highly recommended -- Jamieson is a good brand,
but if not available in your refugee camp, you might try
Swiss Herbal.
I hope you will take this advice favourably - are you
familiar with the wonderful religion called Scientology that
has brought so much riches and happiness to the multi-
talented actor Tom Cruise?
I will check back promptly on my return.
Yours,
Bill
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Fax Problems
Date: Mon, 4 Feb 2002 13:35:33 +0000 (GMT)
From: SUNNY ODOGWU <sunrisen42k2001@yahoo.co.uk>
To: William Stewart <treehouse@twenty.net>
Subject: Urgent
Dear William,
I have just received your mail,well i am very sorry
for your Son.
Meanwhile, i have been trying to send you the fax this
afternoon but the number is not going through, so
please adivse alternative number and also include your
telephone number.
I will be waiting your reply or either you can reach
me by phone.
Regards.
Mr.Sunny Odogwu.
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Adding Bait
Date: Tue, 05 Feb 2002 20:18:57 -0500
From: William Stewart <treehouse@twenty.net>
To: SUNNY ODOGWU <sunrisen42k2001@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Re: Urgent
Sunny,
I have returned from Owego, but my son cannot be helped
by conventional means. I may have to resort to
unconventional means, but don't know what that entails.
Like the younger Allen Konigsberg, I feel bereft.
I move frequently to perform my work which is why I rely
on email, but you can send a fax attention to my name to
the following number in Canada:
[ international access code ] +
[ canada code is 1 ] + 234 567 8901
For example, if the code to access international numbers is
011, you would fax to:
011 1 234 567 8901
I'm becoming increasing sure that a spiritual component
would benefit our relationship -- even in a refugee camp the
heart must be fed as well as the stomach. And of course,
god helps those that help themselves -- just consider the
riches accumulated by triple-threat John Travolta. I'm sure
you would like this site -
http://www.scientology.org/
Please let me know soonest if the fax number works
soonest so we can make additional plans with respect to
this noble enterprise. I will return to my email within 24
hours promptly.
Best regards,
Bill
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Team Motivation
Date: Wed, 6 Feb 2002 12:37:20 +0000 (GMT)
From: SUNNY ODOGWU <sunrisen42k2001@yahoo.co.uk>
To: treehouse@twenty.net
Subject: Re: Urgent
Dear Mr William,
Before i proceed on ,may i use this opportunity to
convey my families sympathty with you over the
unfortunate accident of your beloved son.Be inform
that we have been praying to our Almighty God to give
your son a quick recovering even my mother has already
placed praying request in our church for your son.
More importantly,note that i have faxed those
documents to you and the consignments has left
Dakar-Senegal and you can see the Airway Bill
shippment in your fax machine.
Dear William,A good plan is like a road map,it shows
the final destination and marks the best way to get
there----A successful team beats with one
heart---'Together--Everyone--Archieve--Team'T E A M'
and working together means winning together.
As it is,i am highly concerned with the present
condition of your beloved son and the consignments
which i have already shipped to London.
Now, you should try all your possible best to call
the Diplomat in London and finalise arrangements with
him for the clearing of the consignments soonest.
Always keep me posted with the latest development as
i now relied on you for informations.
Below is the contact of the Diplomat that will
assist you in clearing the consignments in London.
HON. UMOH EKON ESSIET.
Tel;44 345 678 9012.
Fax;44 345 678 9013.
May the supreme Arctifier/Architect of the whole
universe,GodAlmighty gives us heart and wise
understanding to cooperate with each other like blood
brothers.
Your prompt response of this particular mail will be
highly appreciated.
HAVE A GREAT DAY MR WILLIAM.
MR. SUNNY
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Setting The Hook
Date: Wed, 06 Feb 2002 20:53:35 -0500
From: William Stewart <treehouse@twenty.net>
To: SUNNY ODOGWU <sunrisen42k2001@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Re: Urgent
Sunny,
Thanks so much for your reply, I received your fax. First
let me express my surprise -- I thought you meant London
Ontario, not London England. Since I had planned on
hitchhiking there, this detail will present an interesting
challenge. But not one that I'm not up for!
May I be compensated for my efforts? I've discussed this
mission with my priest, Lowell Green, and he asked me to
request your permission to tithe a portion of the fund in
honour to the great god Xenu. Perhaps as little as 10%, less
what I assure you will be a trifling sum to reimburse me for
my efforts...
Alternatively, if I have your commitment even at a
preliminary stage to invest the entire $7.5M in the
Scientology Church Global Growth Fund, I would feel
comfortable knowing that we can work together in this
noble enterprise in the fullest trust, and would likely be
elevated to second Bishop. I assure you that most of the
news reports you have seen about the fund are taken out of
context with obviously doctored photos, and the profits
from the Church are exclusively used for good works like
helping young children in inner cities and clearing the
parks of diseased pigeons. The annual statements are kept
confidential for security reasons, but I've heard it rumoured
that the SCGGF earned more than 8% last year, not
counting writedowns and losses. May I request your
commitment in this regard?
Please thank your mother for her prayers for my son. He
has become particularly taken with your plight, and says
your name over and over in his sleep. May I presume to
request that a small amount of the funds be used to build
him a hyperbaric chamber? It would be more than 300 or
400K at the most, since my cousin can do it under the table.
Please reply soonest. With the sincerest regards,
Bill
________________________________________________
Hook, Line, and Sinker
Date: Thu, 7 Feb 2002 11:39:34 +0000 (GMT)
From: SUNNY ODOGWU <sunrisen42k2001@yahoo.co.uk>
To: William Stewart <treehouse@twenty.net>
Subject: APPRECIATED
Dear Mr Bill,
Before i proceed on, may i use this medium to express
my heart warming concern about your interest and
willingness to cooperate with me in this matter.
Be inform that i have carefully studied your most
recent mail communication in respect of the project we
have been vegetating for and all your humble
suggestions geared towards successful completion in no
too distant future are hereby duly accepted by me any
my entire family.
Mr.Bill, i want to assure you that i am personally
interested in your organization after studying much
about the Church of Scientology which you gave to me
yesterday. In fact my major concern right now as i am
talking to you is to invest major part of this fund
in this organisation so that both of can be working
like blood brothers in all our future business
engagements.
Note that my family has unanimously agreed to give
10% to the church as tithe and also 20% to you for
your unrelenting efforts to archieve our objectives.In
inform Mr LOWELL GREEN that our family highly
appreciates his good works and have resolved to hand
this particular fund over to you .
In proper view of the whole issue therefore,be it
known to you that i am talking about London in England
and not the one in your country.In addition, know it
that this particular fund is already in London
waiting for clearance thereby all we have been talking
about will be put to practice as action speaks louder
than voice.
More importantly , you are advised to call London
with the line i gave to you and arrange with the
Diplomat for the clearance of this fund as soon as
possible.
Remember that i wholly depends on you for latest
informatios and always bear in mind the situation our
family are going through at this period of our life
but we have come to believe that the great god Xenu
will definitely come to our rescue in this present
predicament.
I am waiting honestly and patiently to hear from your
own side with informations about your preparations for
traveling to London for safety of those consignments
in the custody of the Diplomat.
I am hopeful that your son is getting better and the
great god Xenu will save him.
HAVE A GREAT DAY MR BILL.
Mr.Sunny.
________________________________________________
The London Connection
Date: Thu, 07 Feb 2002 20:50:32 -0500
From: William Stewart <treehouse@twenty.net>
To: SUNNY ODOGWU <sunrisen42k2001@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Re: APPRECIATED
Sunny - I thank you with all my heart, from the top of the
left ventricle to the bottom of the right ventricle. I will
meet with first priest Lowell Green and the convocacy of
first priests in the West Block this coming Sunday, where
we will cement this agreement with gravel, water, and
fixer. I may be elevated to first priest this weekend after
the vote, which will provide a range of perquisites,
including year-round snow-plowing.
I have called Diplomat HON. UMOH EKON ESSIET and
made preliminary contact, and will complete the
engagement following my move this weekend to a trailer
located farther from the avalanche area. Mr. Essiet tells me
he is able to travel here or anywhere else in the world
needed to complete this transaction, which is handy.
Please give all my thanks to your family for your generous
offer to tithe a portion of the fund, which I will use to build
my son a new exoskeleton. We bless you, and Kirstie
Alley blesses you.
Xenu is the one with feathers.
Regards,
Bill
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Refocusing
Date: Fri, 8 Feb 2002 11:25:46 +0000 (GMT)
From: SUNNY ODOGWU <sunrisen42k2001@yahoo.co.uk>
To: William Stewart <treehouse@twenty.net>
Subject: Arrangements
Dear Mr William,
Thanks so much for your most recent mail and the
informations therein are properly appreciated.
Dear William,be inform that our family is solmnly
behind you and supplicates to great XENU to make your
elvation to priesthood possible this coming sunday as
you expected for with the great Xenu on your side
nothing is impossible to archieve,So you should
consider it done.
More importantly,i always need to know your
arrangements and when you should be going to London
for the clearance of these consignments so that both
of us will plan my traveling to meet with you and
other future engagements with you and MR Green.
I am always waiting to hear good news from your side
as soon as possible.
HAVE A GREAT WEAKEND MR BILL.
MR.SUNNY.
Note,try all you can to call me on phone after reading
this mail.+123-4567890, is very important.
________________________________________________
Farewell
Date: Sat, 09 Feb 2002 09:18:38 -0500
From: William Stewart <treehouse@twenty.net>
To: SUNNY ODOGWU <sunrisen42k2001@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Re: Arrangements
Sunny - A terrible thing has happened, although it could be
a good thing if you change the definition of those words.
Within minutes of sending my last email to you, my wife
came to me with an amazing secret - Scientology is not a
church that exclusively performs good works, and may be
what some have actually called a cult! Unbelievably, those
news stories were probably reported in context, and most of
the photo's undoctored. While searching for an automatic
link verifier, Margaret found an excellent freeware program
coincidentally named Xenu, which checks both internal and
external links, and is dedicated to warning the public about
the so-called church of scientology. Naturally, after
reading this site I was cast into a well-storm of fear,
loathing, and self-doubt. With the deepest emotion I must
now inform you that I have formally renounced my
affiliation with the Church forever, both orally AND in
writing!!
http://home.snafu.de/tilman/index.html
Before the church, I was a captive of the philosophies of
Leibniz, Kant, and Hegel, and now discover that
Scientology is banned in Germany. What godly ironies we
mortal men must bear. I'm a young man and unschooled in
the ways of the world, and usually believe what I'm told,
but I have had to come to terms with the fact that I may
have made a terrible mistake by giving up my deepest soul
to this organization without any skepticism, questioning, or
the representative canvassing of a variety of independent
opinions. This has tragically led to the life of unremitting
drudgery and mindless automation that has possessed me,
and my entire family, in a merciless, unreleasable grip
since we joined this all-consuming machine more than two
long weeks ago.
Of course, I'm deeply sorry about your package in London.
I see from the certificate that it has been stranded in storage
since 1999, which is evidence that can really lead to only
one conclusion -- you may have to consider that it has been
stolen. On the other hand, you may be able to rely on Mr.
Essiet and offer him a fee to do your bidding. When I
asked, he professed he knew nothing about the contents of
the shipment, so you can probably get him onboard with as
little as 5%.
Alternatively, if you are still willing to donate to the
Church and desire to obtain assistance from Mr. Lowell
Green, I'm sure he would be willing to take the credit for
the whole transaction. Now that I'm excommunicated, he
will probably not be permitted to acknowledge my name,
but you can signal that you are trustworthy and I have sent
you by telling him you are from the "Canadian
Alliance", which is our code name for this enterprise
that he will be able to discuss over an open telephone line.
You should be able to find him in the office Monday to
Friday between 9:00 and 12:00 EST at +1432-765 1289.
We have all been up all night packing what few belongings
we will need in Iqaluit, and I'm leaving the computer as a
charitable deduction to Nortel, so unfortunately will not be
able to receive or reply to any further email
communications. However, all the world is in balance --
last night I wrestled a Nokia cell-phone from a jogger by
the canal, so I will give you a call in a couple months when
the dog-sled reaches the last stop and I can go to the mall to
set it up.
Please continue to pray for my son. I wish you all the best
in your future endeavors on an annual going forward basis,
and dearly hope that this experience does not turn you
completely off the Church, since if ever someone needed a
spiritual experience it is you. However, I simply cannot
say goodbye without stating my true belief, as plainly and
honestly as I know you would expect, no matter how
shocking these words may be: I am now reasonably certain
that Xenu doesn't have any feathers at all...
Know thyself, and to thine own self be true, my dearest
refugee friend,
Bill, Margaret, and little Stockwell
________________________________________________
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PostScript Strangely, I never heard from Mr. Odogwu again. Miscellaneous notes are listed below:
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